Mom Trying to be Dad

My mom is going to be 97 years old. It is interesting to see how someone evolves as a person from when you a toddler to when you become a senior citizen yourself. It really makes you think about how life goes by so quickly. Even for those who you might witness are gone in the blink of an eye through a tragedy, even when life goes on for decades, life never seems long enough.

When I was growing up, my dad was never there. My mom, though, was there 24/7. Learning how to live on one’s own became suffocating. Life was on her terms. When you are little, you don’t understand those things. All you know is that what life is. You know nothing else. Your values often become that of a domineering parent. If you aren’t given the tools to develop your own value system, you emulate those around you. Those who you trust and think won’t do you wrong. When you find out later in life that those values were actually skewed or that they were based on the frailties of that person, you realize as you grow older that some of the mistakes you made could have been avoided if you only had the strength, the knowledge and the ability to adapt and learn from others. But you were too dense or too intellectually immature to even begin to understand that. Blame may start bleeding into the lousy decisions you made, but at some point in your life you have to take full responsibility. Some of that involves forgiveness. From an intellectual standpoint, it involves accountability. It’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s so much easier to just point the finger at someone else.